1
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,130
Huh? Huh?

2
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,120
Well, I'm ready, Sid.

3
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:31,650
Oh, my God.

4
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,080
The Rue of the Ronda.

5
00:00:33,731 --> 00:00:35,799
Sharp, isn't it?

6
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,270
Yeah, what time do you do back in the
shop window?

7
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:41,600
Do you think I look like an English
country gentleman?

8
00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:45,130
You look like a long, thin, overdressed
Welsh twit.

9
00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:51,420
At least I don't go around looking like
the poor man's Frank Sinatra.

10
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:53,970
This, mate, is my crumpet clobber.

11
00:00:53,971 --> 00:01:01,009
I tell you something, I've scored more
times in this than George's best.

12
00:01:01,010 --> 00:01:04,730
You fancy your chances tonight, don't
you, eh? Definitely.

13
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,949
These country birds have never seen
anything like me. Yeah, I won't argue

14
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:09,000
that.

15
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,720
I'll be fighting them off. Yeah?

16
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,970
I think it's your modesty that gets
them.

17
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,170
Well, where are we going to find these
Randy Ravers, then?

18
00:01:17,171 --> 00:01:20,339
In the village, mate. That's where the
action's going to be.

19
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:23,279
Pass me to locally. Let's have a look,
see what Fletchley has to offer.

20
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,330
Right, there you are.

21
00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:26,480
Fletchley on a Saturday night.

22
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:31,180
Oh, yes, very cosmopolitan. What have
you found?

23
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:34,590
Well, then, there's a whiff drive at the
Corn Exchange.

24
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,080
Bingo at the British Legion.

25
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,480
And if we want a really wild time,
there's a beetle at the over 60s.

26
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:43,970
Oh, my God.

27
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,740
How are the mighty fallen?

28
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,280
What? Well, the beetles. John, Paul,
George and Richard. No, no, no.

29
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,540
Not the beetles. The beetle. B -E -E -T
-L -E. It's the game.

30
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,680
Six for a head, five for a body, four
for a tail.

31
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,860
Oh, yeah, I know that one.

32
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,730
That's two for a pair and one for his
knob. No, no, no. That's cribbage.

33
00:02:05,731 --> 00:02:09,239
You can tell I'm not a gambling man.
Well, what's on at the pictures?

34
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,979
Do you mind? I can read.

35
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,150
Pictures.

36
00:02:13,151 --> 00:02:15,499
Pictures. I don't think I've got any
pictures here. I think they're still on

37
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,550
lantern slides.

38
00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:20,719
Of course they have. There's one at the
marketplace. It's called the Alhambra

39
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,770
Picture Drome.

40
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,840
Alhambra Picture Drome?

41
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,480
Oh, blum, it is one of the ranked myths.

42
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:29,850
Well, what's on?

43
00:02:29,851 --> 00:02:30,979
Ben -Hur.

44
00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:32,030
Oh, Ben -Hur?

45
00:02:32,031 --> 00:02:35,439
That's marvellous. That's new and
Charlton Heston's very good.

46
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,490
He's not in it.

47
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,760
It's Rudolph Valentino.

48
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:46,060
I saw that on telly. That's very funny.
What time does it start, then? Look,

49
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,839
matey, I am not spending my Saturday
night in the local village flea pit

50
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,040
the flavour of the month.

51
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,320
Well, what do you suggest?

52
00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:56,479
Let's go down to the local boozer.
That's where the talent is bound to be.

53
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,779
Oh, I don't know, Sid. When you think
about it, I mean, what kind of a girl

54
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:00,799
would go alone?

55
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,379
on a Saturday night to a boozer and
chaperone. The kind of girl we're

56
00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:05,659
for. You're absolutely right.

57
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,040
Just a minute, just a minute.

58
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,379
Before we go, let's make an arrangement.

59
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,799
When we get into that boozer, it's every
man for himself.

60
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,119
You don't cramp my style and I don't
cramp yours.

61
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,059
Right.

62
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:16,110
Just a minute.

63
00:03:16,111 --> 00:03:19,679
There's one more thing. The first bloke
back here with a bird has snogger's

64
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:20,730
rights.

65
00:03:20,731 --> 00:03:25,559
What's snogger's rights? Well, it's the
same as squatter's rights, only more

66
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,610
fun.

67
00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:30,669
If I'm in here, you know, operating with
a bird, I don't want you barging in.

68
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:34,870
And vice versa? Vice versa. We want some
kind of signal to signify occupation.

69
00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:38,060
You mean like hanging our trousers out
of the window?

70
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,440
I think we can be a bit more subtle than
that.

71
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,100
There we are.

72
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,989
See that?

73
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,909
First cloak on, lights out and puts it
in the kitchen window. In the kitchen

74
00:03:49,910 --> 00:03:50,949
window. Right.

75
00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:52,230
Ready to go.

76
00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:58,130
Let this go and dip into the flesh pots
of Fletchley. Yahoo!

77
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,790
Vicar, it's Dan here.

78
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:05,400
Look, I've got a couple of nice
pheasants if you want one for the

79
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,000
Both lovely birds.

80
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:09,380
Oh, I see.

81
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:10,980
Oh, very well, vicar.

82
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:14,360
Well, if you change your mind to a fancy
one, just give me a ring.

83
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:29,530
It's all happening here, isn't it?

84
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:31,430
It's a friendly local.

85
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,210
It was recommended by the AA.

86
00:04:33,211 --> 00:04:34,189
What for?

87
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,240
Demolition?

88
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:38,140
Shop! Yep!

89
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:45,510
Excuse me, is this your best room?

90
00:04:46,170 --> 00:04:48,370
Yes, you're in it. This is the best
room?

91
00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:51,640
This is our only room. Why, is there
something wrong with it?

92
00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,410
Oh, it's very nice, isn't it?

93
00:04:53,491 --> 00:04:55,519
Very quaint.

94
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,579
Well, now you've approved of the
architecture, can I get you something?

95
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,640
Half a keg. And you, sir?

96
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:03,490
I'll have some absinthe. You got any
absinthe?

97
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,060
Is that some kind of a whiff?

98
00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:08,840
It's a drink, mate.

99
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:14,800
Absinthe. A -B -S -I -N -T -H -E. Oh,
yeah, absinthe. French, isn't it? Yeah,

100
00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:17,159
you add water to it. That's right. Goes
cloudy.

101
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,320
No, horrible muck.

102
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,050
Half a keg.

103
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:23,860
Nice joint, isn't it?

104
00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:27,030
A truly rural robber's return, isn't it?

105
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,330
Here we are, sir. Best beer in England.

106
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,230
Bit flat, isn't it?

107
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,040
Oh, sorry, sir.

108
00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:44,870
What was that?

109
00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:51,710
I'll bet you're a bit of a devil with
cocktails.

110
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,850
Off the ground.

111
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,530
Here it is.

112
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,790
Gabriel.

113
00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:02,579
Evening, gents.

114
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:03,780
Looks like rain.

115
00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:06,080
No, no, won't rain tonight.

116
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,620
May have a bit of ill fog, but it should
clear by morning.

117
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:14,080
Might have a few isolated showers in the
west, but it'll be mainly dry.

118
00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:17,979
Ah, do you hear that, Sid? Now that's
country folk talking, you see. They're

119
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,030
tune with nature.

120
00:06:19,031 --> 00:06:21,499
Marvellous, isn't it? You tell that by
looking at the sky?

121
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,550
No.

122
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,650
Weather forecast.

123
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,580
On telly.

124
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,720
Here. How's the beer?

125
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,080
Oh, I've tasted worse.

126
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,000
Do you think I should have one?

127
00:06:32,001 --> 00:06:36,799
Well, what's up to you, matey? I mean,
if you want one, you have one. It's very

128
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,200
kind of you. I forgive that.

129
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,570
Gentlemen's pain.

130
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,030
Here.

131
00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:47,900
For you to judge who bought Clover Farm.

132
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,290
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

133
00:06:49,291 --> 00:06:50,269
Victor Evans.

134
00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,069
Sidney Turner.

135
00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:52,290
George Proctor.

136
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:54,990
One and three. And have one yourself.

137
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:56,380
Three and nine.

138
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,100
Three and nine?

139
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:00,730
I only drink whiskey.

140
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,330
I bet you find this a bit different from
London.

141
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:05,650
Yeah, more expensive.

142
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,370
Is that first night out?

143
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,250
Enjoying yourself, eh?

144
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,480
Well, up to now, now.

145
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:15,150
Oh, well, it'll liven up your... Tom and
Harry will be in in a minute. Get away.

146
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,400
I can hardly wait.

147
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:21,420
Because I never saw Mary come and meet
my friends.

148
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:29,260
These two gents have just bought Clover
Farm.

149
00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:36,560
I bet you wouldn't say no to a drink,
eh? What's there to drink in?

150
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,820
They'll have the same, pints.

151
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,660
And I'll have another myself.

152
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,079
Here, have for me, please.

153
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,719
Did you say another for yourself, sir?
Yeah, might as well. I'll have another

154
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,770
whiskey, thank you.

155
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,899
You care to join us in a game of
dominoes? No, thank you very much. I

156
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:56,950
get overexcited.

157
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,290
Well, if you change your mind, we're
over there. Thank you very much.

158
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:04,739
There's Doss there, if you want him.

159
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,990
No, thanks. As a matter of fact, we'd
rather have a couple of birds.

160
00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,230
Well,

161
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,400
it just so happens I think I can fix you
up.

162
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,320
You mean you can fix us up with a couple
of birds?

163
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,380
Yeah, I do it for most of the regulars.

164
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,420
Can the brewery object?

165
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,020
Helps to sell the beer.

166
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,630
I'm not surprised.

167
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:30,659
They only started it off as a sideline,
but there seemed to be quite a demand

168
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,619
for them.

169
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,670
Always has.

170
00:08:32,671 --> 00:08:34,219
Especially around about Christmas.

171
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,079
Everybody seemed to want a bird at
Christmas.

172
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,219
Well, you couldn't find a better time,
really, could you?

173
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:40,510
I picked the vicar out with a beauty
last year.

174
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,050
The vicar?

175
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,990
Even the curate share one every
Christmas.

176
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,610
Very kinky.

177
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,750
I have one myself every Sunday.

178
00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:53,060
You know why?

179
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:55,180
Nothing I like better than a bit of
breast.

180
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:02,530
It's worse than fighting place.

181
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,870
How many birds have you got, then?

182
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:09,490
Oh, I keep a couple of dozen on the go.

183
00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:13,270
He's got muscle that don't even show.

184
00:09:13,271 --> 00:09:17,779
You want one, then? Yeah, well, yeah.
Two, we want one each. Any particular

185
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:18,920
kind? No, no, no.

186
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,080
As long as they're not boilers.

187
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,080
Oh, they're in their prime.

188
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,390
Get out of here.

189
00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:27,510
I'm afraid they're not dressed. Oh,
that's even better.

190
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:33,520
Quidditch. Yeah, Quidditch are well
worth it. Here we are, then.

191
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,540
A couple of birds.

192
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,660
It's not birds, birds, we want.

193
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,370
Birds.

194
00:09:44,099 --> 00:09:47,140
Girls, here, what kind of hairs do you
think I'm running?

195
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,340
Perishing foreigners.

196
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,620
I knew it was too good to be true.

197
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:55,619
I think we should have bought them, Sid.

198
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:58,270
Looks like the only birds we're going to
get tonight.

199
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,200
Allow me. Oh, sorry.

200
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,060
Oh, thank you.

201
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,480
And it's Corbett.

202
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,580
You can call me Liz. Really?

203
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:14,879
Victor Evans?

204
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:15,960
Just call me Vic.

205
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,590
Don't bother to call me. I'm here
already.

206
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,840
Cigarette? Yeah, cigarette.

207
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:27,160
Hang on.

208
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,780
Careful of the light.

209
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,940
And how's Clover Farm?

210
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,980
Oh, how do you know we're from Clover?

211
00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:44,479
I work at the local telephone exchange.

212
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,920
There's not much I don't know.

213
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,010
I'll bet there isn't.

214
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:48,970
Cheeky.

215
00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:52,999
Who would you like to drink, then? Oh,
that's very kind of you. I'll have a gin

216
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,099
and tonic. Gin and tonic for the lady.
You're in the church. Don't argue. Keep

217
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,510
lady waiting. You have a keg. I'll have
one as well.

218
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,620
It won't be long. Yeah, take your time.

219
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:05,120
Well, what are you and me going to do,
then, tonight?

220
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,940
You're fast, aren't you?

221
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,060
I'm just revving up, darling.

222
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,330
Well, why don't we go out just down
the...

223
00:11:12,331 --> 00:11:13,679
I'm back.

224
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,730
That was quick.

225
00:11:14,731 --> 00:11:17,699
The landlord's bringing the drinks over.
The trouble with this place, the

226
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,750
service is too good.

227
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:24,060
It's very cosy, isn't it? Here we are.
One gin and lime and two halves a keg.

228
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,760
That'll be £1 .15.

229
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:29,800
£1 .15?

230
00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:33,379
Well, I had to order a round for George
and the boys, didn't I? Thank you very

231
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:35,000
much. I like it, man. It's generous.

232
00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:39,679
Keep the change.

233
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,730
Thank you, sir.

234
00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:45,960
Hungry? Cheers.

235
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,340
Oh. Cheers.

236
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:48,680
Cheers.

237
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,370
Oh, I enjoyed that.

238
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:56,430
I'm surprised you even tasted it.

239
00:11:56,431 --> 00:11:59,089
Like I said, are you hungry?

240
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,749
Yeah, well, I'm starving. I thought we'd
leave.

241
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,009
What would you like to eat?

242
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,060
Oh, I like curry.

243
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,650
You do? Mm, I love erotic food. Oh!

244
00:12:05,651 --> 00:12:10,129
Yeah, well, let's hit him. No, look, I'm
just going to bite this. No, no, no.

245
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,450
Boys, make up your minds.

246
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:14,500
Three's an orgy.

247
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:18,560
I don't mind if you don't. Yes, well,
just... Where are you going?

248
00:12:18,561 --> 00:12:21,409
I just want to have a word with my
friend about who's going to take you out

249
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:22,590
dinner. Don't go away.

250
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:24,200
Stay there.

251
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:26,470
Get in there. I've been.

252
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:27,770
Doesn't matter. Go again.

253
00:12:27,771 --> 00:12:32,309
There's only one of her and two of us,
right? So it's no good both of us

254
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,389
sniffing around. It's only going to
spoil it for the other one. Well, I

255
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:37,769
agree. Right, so you push off. Well, no,
why should I? She fancies me. She

256
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:40,989
fancies anybody. Now, clear off. Yeah,
but look, I mean, look, it's not fair.

257
00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:42,610
All right, we'll talk through it.

258
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:47,100
Edge you get the bird, tails I have.
Right, fair enough. Right? Ready? Right.

259
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,470
Have you seen Auntie Sidney?

260
00:13:37,471 --> 00:13:38,709
Have you?

261
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:40,170
Have you seen Auntie Sidney?

262
00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:42,850
Oh, he's not in yet.

263
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,650
Oh, that's terrible.

264
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,960
Well, you'll be lucky if you see him
before milking, eh?

265
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,489
Ta -da, Anna.

266
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:50,540
Keep watch.

267
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:54,820
I'm a tiger.

268
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:56,550
I'm a tiger.

269
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,280
I'm a tiger.

270
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:03,390
I hope you don't sing all the time. No,
no, darling. I know when to shut up.

271
00:14:03,731 --> 00:14:05,759
Here's a kiss.

272
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,479
Oh, can't you wait till we get inside?

273
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,540
No, I want a kiss now.

274
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:11,170
All right, then. Just a little one for
starters.

275
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,490
Oh, Dad.

276
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,720
Oh, blimey.

277
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,180
If that's just starters, I can't wait
for the main course.

278
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,240
You'll like the dessert.

279
00:14:43,151 --> 00:14:44,739
he said.

280
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,050
We've got all night. I'm not on duty
till ten o 'clock in the morning.

281
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:49,470
Oh!

282
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,490
There.

283
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,850
There.

284
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,920
Hello. He's bringing her back.

285
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,800
Well, I'll soon stop his little game.

286
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,760
Oh, come on out, love.

287
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,040
I'm getting cold.

288
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,630
Oh, come on, darling. I'll warm you up.
Is that a threat or a promise?

289
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:09,930
Hello.

290
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,120
He's found a bird as well.

291
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:13,720
Oh, come on. Let's get inside.

292
00:15:13,721 --> 00:15:16,879
No, we can't, darling. Why not? Because
Victor's in there, you see.

293
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,019
So what about him? Well, there's a light
on in the window.

294
00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:21,600
So? So he's actually... Why don't we go
in the barn?

295
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:23,810
You're joking.

296
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:27,040
My barn's snogging days are over. Oh,
come on, darling.

297
00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:28,339
It's too cold.

298
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:31,170
All right, let's go in the cow shed.
It'll be warm in there.

299
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:35,240
Look, darling, I'm strictly an interior
sprung girl.

300
00:15:35,241 --> 00:15:38,939
Are we going in the house or not? Well,
we can't because Victor's in there. Good

301
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:39,439
night, Vic.

302
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,520
Oh, Liz, darling!

303
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,190
And don't ring me. I'll ring.

304
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:46,130
And I won't be ringing you.

305
00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:47,440
Oi, kid.

306
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,390
Oh, come on, Vic, hurry up.

307
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:57,890
Good night, Sidney.

308
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,090
He must have been out all night.

309
00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:20,390
I hope he slept well.

310
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,190
The story of my life.

311
00:16:26,191 --> 00:16:30,429
Start off hoping to spend a night with a
nice bit of crumpet. What do I finish

312
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:31,480
up sleeping with?

313
00:16:31,930 --> 00:16:32,980
An old cow.

314
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:39,770
Oh, well, I'll see you tonight then, eh?

315
00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:41,480
OK.

316
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,920
Oh. Morning, Sidney. Oh.

317
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:53,680
Oh, God, I'm making all over.

318
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,240
You look a bit rough.

319
00:16:55,241 --> 00:16:57,679
You look rough, too, if you spent the
night in a casket.

320
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,730
Oh.

321
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,330
Oh. Oh.

322
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,980
Have you got something I can have? Oh,
I've got the very thing, eh?

323
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:09,119
Sidney, I've got the very thing here.

324
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,838
A few drops of this, and that'll get rid
of your aches and pains, and I'll go

325
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:13,889
and pour a cup of tea.

326
00:17:28,121 --> 00:17:31,259
What a shocking taste that's got.

327
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:32,520
Right, strip to the waist.

328
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,710
Strip to the waist.

329
00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:42,679
What for?

330
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,999
Well, I'm going to rub this embrocation
on your back.

331
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,050
Embrocation?

332
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,890
I drank some.

333
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:52,290
Oh, shut up. It's not funny. Yeah, I
know it's not.

334
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:54,990
I'm poisoned.

335
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,230
What am I going to do?

336
00:17:56,231 --> 00:17:57,019
Oh, don't worry.

337
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,979
It'll probably seep through to the
outside.

338
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:02,559
What do you want me to do with it then?
Rub it on your back? Oh, shut up, Tappy.

339
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,859
Just stick it in there. Where's your
sense of humour, Sid?

340
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:05,910
I left it in the couch.

341
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:12,710
Well,

342
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,850
what time did she go?

343
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,650
What time did you go?

344
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,560
The bird you had in here last night.

345
00:18:20,561 --> 00:18:22,019
What are you talking about?

346
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:24,029
The only bird in here last night was
Anna.

347
00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:27,400
But the light was on in the window. I
know. I left it on for when you came

348
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,570
But that was our signal.

349
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:32,730
Signal? Yes, for having a bird in there.

350
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:34,100
Oh, yes.

351
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,010
You know, it completely slipped my mind.

352
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:38,580
What mind?

353
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:44,870
What a pity, Sid, and you all fixed up
with Liz and all that effort wasted.

354
00:18:44,871 --> 00:18:46,209
Who said it was wasted?

355
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,329
Rob, she didn't get anywhere.

356
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:50,189
I did all right. Oh, you do surprise me.
Yeah, she was all over me. Yeah, was

357
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:52,319
she? I wouldn't leave me alone. Oh,
really?

358
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,960
Don't ring me and I won't ring you.

359
00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,279
What? Wasn't that after she said the bit
about her barn's snogging days were

360
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,330
over?

361
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,999
You were listening. Yes, I was
listening, Sid. And you lit that lamp on

362
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,459
Yes, absolutely right, Sid. What a lousy
stroke to pull. Yes, almost as lousy as

363
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,959
locking somebody in the lavatory.

364
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,219
Still, I think I'll have better luck
tonight.

365
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,279
What are you talking about?

366
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,900
Well, I've invited the lovely Liz to
dinner and she has accepted.

367
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,860
She hasn't? Well, she isn't. Fair.

368
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:22,689
You had your chance last night and she
didn't rise to the bait, did she?

369
00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:27,570
But I think tonight I might get a little
nibble, speaking metaphorically.

370
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,650
Well, OK, mate, you help yourself.

371
00:19:32,410 --> 00:19:33,730
Just wasn't my type anyway.

372
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:35,610
Bit of a scrubber, if you ask me.

373
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,280
You get stuck here, mate. You fill your
boot. Go on.

374
00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,670
Don't worry, I will.

375
00:19:43,671 --> 00:19:47,749
Come on, Sidney, we're late for the
milking.

376
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,270
Yeah, well, go on. You carry on.

377
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:52,619
What are you going to do? Oh, I'll
finish my tea. I'll be with you in a

378
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,559
All right.

379
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,120
I'm just coming, ladies.

380
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,010
Oh, God.

381
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,660
Hello? That exchange?

382
00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:14,820
Could I have a word with Liz Corbett?

383
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,170
Tell her it's Victor.

384
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,430
Hello, Liz?

385
00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:22,860
This is Victor, yeah?

386
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:27,610
Oh, I'm very sorry, Liz, but I'll have
to put you off tonight, you see.

387
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,030
Yes, it is a pity.

388
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,100
Oh, indeed to goodness, yes, it is, yes.

389
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,160
Oh, I'm very sorry, Liz.

390
00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:39,799
Sid is here. He would like to have a
word with you.

391
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,850
Yes, just a minute.

392
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,350
Sid!

393
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:45,070
Yes?

394
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,970
Oh, Liz is here on the phone. Would like
to have a word with you.

395
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:51,930
Thank you, mate. I'm coming.

396
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:54,460
Hello, Liz.

397
00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:58,420
I'm sorry about last night. Well, it's
the way it goes, isn't it?

398
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:01,480
I was wondering if you'd meet me tonight
down at the boozer.

399
00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:03,249
You will?

400
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,269
Oh, that's great.

401
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,189
Eight o 'clock?

402
00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:06,240
Right. Ta -da.

403
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:08,620
Pardon?

404
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:11,450
You like another word with Victor?

405
00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:13,420
Yeah.

406
00:21:13,421 --> 00:21:15,109
Just a minute.

407
00:21:15,110 --> 00:21:16,550
Hang on a minute. Just a minute.

408
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:24,690
this once I have another word with her.

409
00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:26,320
All right -o, Sid.

410
00:21:27,201 --> 00:21:29,209
Hello, Liz.

411
00:21:29,210 --> 00:21:30,260
This is Victor.

412
00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:33,240
Oh, I'm very sorry, Liz. No, it's
business, look you.

413
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:34,790
Yes, it's business, you see.

414
00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:38,149
But don't you worry, Sid will look after
you. Yes, he's a good chap, Sid. Yes,

415
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:38,989
very generous.

416
00:21:38,990 --> 00:21:42,930
Yes. Oh, yes, very, very generous, Sid.
Oh, don't you worry, Liz. Yes.

417
00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:44,180
Yes.

418
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:47,860
Cheerio, Bach.

419
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,380
Yeah, cheerio, Liz. Sorry.

420
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:58,120
Oh, Lord, I've cracked it.

421
00:22:02,391 --> 00:22:03,939
What's the

422
00:22:03,940 --> 00:22:11,219
matter

423
00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:12,499
with the lights? They're not working.

424
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,700
I've taken the bulbs out.

425
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,859
What for?

426
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:18,990
Well, you don't like lighting when
you're wooing a young girl.

427
00:22:18,991 --> 00:22:21,919
You won't be able to find her in this
light, never mind, will you?

428
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,240
Don't worry, I'll find her.

429
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,660
Soames Foresight rides again.

430
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:31,279
Well, where are you going to? Oh, I'll
go down to Boozer and have a game of

431
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,330
darts or something.

432
00:22:32,331 --> 00:22:35,279
It's very obliging of you, Sidney. Well,
there's no point in me messing it up

433
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,330
for you, is there?

434
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:39,780
Sidney, I will not forget this. Oh, I'll
bet you won't.

435
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,700
Say well, ta -da. Ta -da.

436
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,370
Have a nice time.

437
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,780
Elizabeth, Victor is waiting for you,
pussycat.

438
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,410
Ah!

439
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,620
Yeah, yeah. Evening. Yes, I know. Off a
kick.

440
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,890
Thank you. Phone.

441
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,690
For me? Yeah.

442
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:22,140
Hello? Hello, Sid.

443
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:23,820
Vic. Oh, yes?

444
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,130
Are you all right?

445
00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:26,590
Oh, yes.

446
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:28,080
Ah, that's good.

447
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,260
Because we were both worried about you.

448
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:32,590
We?

449
00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:35,940
Practice your Welsh accent, Sid.

450
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,500
And next time, keep your voice down. I
can hear you off across the farmyard.

451
00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:44,620
Chilly horse, Sid. Bach.

452
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:53,639
Would the lady like some of the red
wine, or perhaps she would prefer some

453
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,319
the other?

454
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,240
Well, I think we'll have the wine first.

455
00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,400
And leave the other till a bit later.

456
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,380
You'll soon pick it up. It's a double to
kick off with.

457
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,680
And if you can't go, you knock.

458
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,680
Like that. Yes, sir.

459
00:24:12,730 --> 00:24:17,280
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